p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
