Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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