I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
