you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
