Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize