omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
