we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
