The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just found puke in my bra..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
