With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
