she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
