where am i from again
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
