i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
