Ambien. No doubt about it.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
