yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
