ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
