There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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