And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
