Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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