These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
