Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
