You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
