If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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