I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
