Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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