Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
