Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
