can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
