So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
