am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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