Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
wow bdsm is so cute
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize