I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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