I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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