I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
