Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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