is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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