that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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