I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
