I wish I could punch you in the face.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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