If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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