I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
