marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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