one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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