your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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