I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
