Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
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