so explain again why im purple
no
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize