I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Randomize
