I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
