His pubic hair was longer than his dick
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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