She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
