you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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