If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm both gender and math confused
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
