STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
