You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
40s are totally the cure
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
