just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
