wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
