He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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