so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
