Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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