A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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