i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
