If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
