There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
